Authenticity Magnified
“The core of authenticity is the courage to be imperfect, vulnerable, and to set boundaries.” – Brené Brown
What is authenticity? I think Brene really gets it when she says this - it’s courage! We can practice being imperfect, vulnerable and setting boundaries and to do that we need to really tune into ourselves..
Why does expressing our authentic selves touch others’ hearts in a special way? I see this at play all of the time in comedy shows, theatre, music and in general everyday life also. So we can utilise this magic in life and love for amazing results!
Authenticity is also especially important in love. If we don’t express who we really are and choose someone who does the same, we can end in up relationships where people are running in circles trying to be something or someone they’re not. This is what
Is so good about embracing our imperfect and vulnerable selves. How exhausting and pointless is pretense in the AI age where cookie cutter connections are rife?
Accepting and loving who we are is a big one here! This is where the boundaries come in – when we know and love who we are, we will stand up for our needs to be met with at time explosive results. And also excellent results!
What does it mean to know, and accept yourself deeply, and express from that place? First we need to know who we are, what we like, what we want – what our own idiosyncrasies and quirkiness spontaneously wants to share – and be able to let it rip! That’s authenticity.
Today I want to talk how to magnify your authenticity by tuning in to you, because you can’t be authentic unless you are deeply tuned in to yourself, your own needs, wants – be accepting of it and willing to share with the world.
Consider and ponder our own special flavour of things by deeply tuning in to you. Have you had many experiences in life where people ask you what you want and you just don’t know? What in life lights you up and brings you joy? Think about what you like and what do you not like - you may be pretty clear on what your favourite food is, what pastimes you like and what job or career you enjoy. But when we are considering really tuning in, so much so that you can spend time with someone else and really share and express your beautiful divine self – we need to know makes you interesting and what makes you tick.
What are your values? There are so many processes out there to discover what your core values are. You can literally list up 10 to 20 values and then choose your top four. People might think ‘every value is important to me’. For example we all value respect, integrity, fun, being loving, being friendly, a good work ethic and so on. However some of these are more important than others to us, personally.
I’d love it if you send me an email DM on socials and tell me your top for four values. It’s so cool getting to know people from the sacred space of our values! One of my most important values is being friendly to people, another one is having fun so I laugh a lot. I also deeply value integrity and justice.
What would you and do you regularly stand up for? I stand up for the underdog and I always have. If you look at what environmental and social issues really move you into acto, you will notice what your values are.
Authenticity is connected to your purpose and passion in life but not everyone has to have a specific purpose. Knowing what we’re passionate about even if it’s not a life purpose per se, helps us feel know our authentic selves.
Once you’ve gone through the deep inner work and/or inner play that is helping you align to knowing what your truth is – consciously choose to get experiential! You have discovered things that make you laugh, cry and get involved so choose to have some experiences that truly do help you to feel alive. This inner work helps us sort out our fears and beliefs so that we can live from all more authentic place.
Take the image of me for example, there I was sitting on a beautiful lake in Japan. It’s called Lake Biwa – and it’s one of the biggest lakes in the country. It’s almost like an inland sea. I was sitting at a cafe enjoying a beautiful coffee overlooking the water, but I also felt slightly bored and alone, even though nature was keeping me company and it was very beautiful to be touched by that piece of land. I stayed there for a while enjoying the waves and getting some work done – however, I didn’t find the cafe people particularly friendly. I ended up heading back up to the backpackers and sure enough I found a tribe of people to play cards with and chat about our adventures – I was happy again!
This showed me that even though adventure was quite high on my list of values – I realised after travelling on my own somewhat that even though I really enjoy it – I do find it a little lonely - I generally prefer to be with people. So leaving the beauty of the lake and heading to the action in that moment felt authentically me, rather than sticking it out in an ‘I should be enjoying this’ type vibe!
Expression is such a golden key to living authentically! When we’ve been through inner reflection and experiences, and decided what aspects we want to expand on, we can express ourselves more easily. Loving and acceptance for ourselves and others helps us in this area. (This self-love and acceptance is where EFT Tapping comes in! It’s such an effective tool for shifting energy).
Decide what aspects of you that you want to share with friends, family or your romantic partner. As you get out and about meeting new people with a view to meeting your beautiful life partner, what aspects of you that you’ve discovered do you want to talk about? What quirky parts of you do you want to show? Are there aspects of your values, your personality, likes and dislikes you want to expand on because you find them particularly fun?
Are there that some things that drain your energy that you decided you want to let go of in your life because it no longer speaks to you and how you want to create your experience of life?
What about how you interact with yourself and others can express your authenticity more deeply? Some parts of the expression piece which is about really choosing to not be affected by other people‘s opinion of you. If we care too much about others’ opinions, the freedom to be ourselves lessens.
When I was at university I chose a minor and drama and absolutely loved it!! I find drama a personal growth heaven and so much fun! It was really interesting - a lot of the actors that I rehearsed with didn’t seem to have a strong sense of self. They were very good at expressing, especially when they were given a role to play. I guess for people that have a dim sense of self it’s harder to express themselves authentically in the world. Time in nature helps us reach into what we really want. Having a healthy sense of self is something worth practicing! I’m not playing a role, I’m just showing up - how others take that is none of my business.
We’ve really delved into magnifying your authenticity today and what it takes to magnify that so you can live and love more powerfully with a deep sense of the courage to live with authenticity!
Write down your authenticity plan now. Send me an email on shannon@welcomelastinglove.com if you feel like sharing your plan, you get bonus points when you email me a 2nd time and tell me how it goes!
Until next time, have an extra laugh on me, and let your love light shine! x
For an extra challenge, add more simulated laughter into social situations to see if it becomes catching and spontaneous could be fun, but it’s not for everyone. Search online for catching laughter situations, there’s a very famous one where someone randomly starts laughing on a train and everyone unintentionally joins in! Write down your joy practice now. Send me an email on shannon@welcomelastinglove.com if you feel like sharing your plan, you get bonus points when you email me a 2nd time and tell me how it goes!
Until next time, have an extra laugh on me, and let your love light shine! x