3 Pillars of Imperfect Presence for Love Manifestation!
The Power of Imperfect Presence
Being Present it’s what many of us strive for. There are whole religions based around this concept, practice and way of being! Thanks Buddhism, meditation, Eckhart Tolle to name just a couple. I am ever so mindfully jumping on the presence bandwagon and recommending it as something you can decide to consciously do to help the magic of Love Manifestation get a wriggle on in your life.
What do I mean by that exactly? Be present to help you attract lasting love, that’s what I mean. But do it imperfectly! As I speak, I struggle with being not present. In fact as I write this, my kids are home from school, in another room doing their own thing. That’s imperfect for sure, or perfectly imperfect or imperfectly perfect. Whatever way you look at it, I am most definitely a work in progress in this area (in most areas actually).
Although, I am so, super lucky, our gorgeous new kitten is helping me lean into Love Presence daily!
Presence Ahas
Many things have alerted me to the magic of presence so hear me out while I share a couple that stand out. I was once a volunteer at a singles event and this really lovely older gentleman had misread the info and he was not in the age range, at all! Sometimes, the facilitator had everyone choose their own tables at the event, and this gentleman was alone at his table. Naturally, I got the chance to speak with him. My life was enriched by the 10 minutes I had with him, 2 times throughout the evening.
I know I had the luxury of ‘not looking’. Being already married, I was like an imposter in the space, a volunteer and speaker at an event where everyone but me was single, and looking. So I didn’t have the worries that some participants may have had, of not wanting to hurt people’s feelings if they were asked to meet up again if they did not want to date them.
I feel, however, that the women who did not get to speak with him missed out. When we are energetically open to new humans, whether we want to date them or not, we have a generosity of spirit and this shows - to everyone!! If I was The Universe, deciding who to send the wonderful, eligible, friendly, stable and loving guy to, I would send him to the one who had generosity of spirit! The one who chose to give another human being the time of day.
I am not suggesting you open up energetically to every human who wants, or needs, your attention. Being intuitive and discerning about who is in your space is essential. In fact this is something I grapple with too because I know I have to be selective about who I have in my life as I am sensitive to all kinds of energies and I have a past pattern currently being transformed around wanting to help everyone!
This is about setting in place boundaries. As Brene Brown says, “Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves, even when we risk disappointing others.” Setting them, and ensuring people respect them, is our job and essential.
Another thing that proves to me the magic of presence is in knowing what we want, we are being present to ourselves. Self – presence is essential when we explore our wants and not-wants. As we cultivate being present with ourselves, we are getting more and more of what we do want in life! In our careers, home, relationships, and the kinds of people we are attracting too!
Deep listening, or empathetic listening is something I treasure so much in my relationships. Often in our modern world, people are listening as they work out what they want to say, or work out how to put their own experience into the conversation, rather than simply holding space for us. Being present to ourselves and others while in relationship cultivates this ability to deeply listen.
So please, make sure you power up your Presence to encourage the magic of Love Manifestation!
What exactly is presence? The definitions I found online are: 1. The state or fact of being present; current existence or occurrence. 2. A person who is present, especially in an impressive way. (The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language)
I describe it as tuning deeply into the present moment, being aware of sights, sounds, energies. As well as tuning into ourselves and others – our state, needs, wants and so on.
Yes but how? Let’s practice the 3 Pillars of Presence but first a word on how to make it imperfect. Basically, give yourself a break. In EFT Tapping sessions, or when using other modalities with clients, I often have the intuitive urge to get people to work on how if a friend had these feelings, beliefs, did this painful actions, we’d be so loving, so understanding. And then we bring in the ability to extend that same love and understanding to ourselves. So, no beating ourselves up when we are not as present as we want to be. Notice, course correct if you want, or not. If it’s causing you pain or you are not getting the results in love you want to get, then do some inner work to be able to bring more presence with yourself into your heart and then with others.
The 3 Pillars of Presence:
1. Clear what is blocking your presence. If you have a ‘thing’ against people who like a certain type for food, or sport for example, you could totally dismiss someone who could have been the absolute love of our life! Getting some coaching, therapy, delving into some modalities that float your boat (Matrix Reimprinting, EFT Tapping, hypnotherapy, NLP, rebirthing) can completely alter energy, thoughts and beliefs that could be in place of your presence. Before I did a lot of inner work, my beliefs around being unworthy made me not even see wonderful men with a strong and loving presence, I only saw people what were even more struggling than I was so I could ‘help’ them.
2. Curiosity to the world around you. Noticing what is around you brings you into presence. When I used to practice the Japanese Martial Art of Aikido I loved how they talked about unifying spirit, mind and body. There’s no multi-tasking when you are practicing full presence. It’s not my intention to make multi-tasking wrong here, it’s completely fine and for some people, listening to one thing while doing another task may even bring them into deeper presence. However, as a practice, when you are walking along, notice the birds, the wind, the sun. You never know what magical surprises are there in store for you.
For example the rainbow may remind you of magic and then later that day you magically chat to an old friend online who ends up introducing you to the love of your life in the end! You may not have even chatted to them if the rainbow had not reminded you to smell the roses, take your time and connect with people. You may have just been on your busy treadmill, and not even stopped to chat.
3. Pay Attention. Consciously close distractions when interacting w people – on dates, w friends, at work or a new human when out and about. Turn phones off, out them away. This act itself gives a signal of ‘I am being present with you now’
I would love to support your move to more presence. Once way I can do that is when we connect via email. Go to this page to sign up to my mailing list for beautiful inspo, tips, event info, offers and love! https://www.welcomelastinglove.com/contact-me