Have you given up on love?
Have you all but given up on love? You probably haven’t completely given up – because you know that hope is always available. Otherwise, you wouldn’t be reading this blog!
Today’s blog is all about how to ‘give up’ on love in a positive way, rather than a ‘masking’ way, and some of the strategies that you might wish to use to do this that will help you attract what you want in love!
Recently I’ve been hearing about a lot of people who feel like I’ve given up on love. What is giving up? There are a few kinds of giving up, but what I am hearing from people is that they’ve tried so many things, they feel they have done everything and what they want just is not turning up. Either they are getting complete crickets are not going on any dates at all – or they’re able to get into conversations and go on dates with people they met online or out and about in life however the people that they connect with just don’t end up resonating for whatever reason.
Is your experience anything like this?
You may feel that ‘It’s just not going to happen for me’ or, ‘I just can’t be bothered any more’. But is this really how you feel deep down? Maybe you are just saying that because it's easier. This is a masking way of ‘giving up’. It's not joyful surrender to what is. It’s not actual giving up where you truly don’t want someone anymore. It’s somewhere in between.
Why would you want to step into joyful surrender to what is when things are difficult?
I know what it’s like to want something so much that you feel like you’re almost chasing it away. When my husband and I wanted to have a family and conceive our first child – it took us years to actually fall pregnant. We did absolutely everything in our power. We detoxed, took supplements and herbs, tried so many natural modalities and mindset tools. You name it, we did it.
In the end I was able to step into a more surrendered place – being open to what the universe had in store for my husband and myself when it came to having family, because I knew that we had done everything we could’ve done.
At the same time, my level of commitment and productivity didn’t end up with the surrendered feeling. I continued what I had been doing in a proactive way, always open to new and wonderful modalities that would help and it felt like a more joyous version of giving up. That time in my life was connected to that old saying “just give up and it will happen”.
There is so much truth to the saying – but we need come to that place with love and peace which is possible when we are still very proactive. This is how we can reach that place! And reaching it can help you achieve what you want in love.
This positive surrendered place is one of the energies I support people to step into in my attract love coaching practice.
When there’s that feeling of ‘stuff it, I give up’– that’s more of a masking of your true feelings. What you truly want is to meet someone special and enter into an amazing love connection! But you’re telling yourself that you don’t want that anymore and that’s why you are not in action. Instead of that, when you get the chance to release the hopeless and stuck energy that’s in your way – you can step into a more proactive place that is yes, surrendered, but not in a passive, negative way. It’s in more of a positive, joyful and proactive away.
How can you start on stepping towards this way of being today? In my experience, stepping into audacious and aligned action makes us know we are fully committed and proactive! And in knowing this, a kind of peaceful surrender can arrive. So here are my suggestions for today to step into action.
1. Write down everything you could possibly do to meet someone special. Even write the things you might not be interested in right now – for example I know a lot of people are feeling quite jaded or don’t even want to try the dating apps and dating websites . I’m not saying that dating apps and websites are an absolute must in your love attraction journey – however I want you to write this list from the point of view of adding everything that could possibly bring in what you want – it doesn’t mean we’re going to get you to do everything on that list.
2. Once you’ve written The list, I want you to do some inner work around what’s on the list. Doing the inner work necessary will help shift the energy - which is essential! So take your list into your journaling practice, take it into your meditation or on a walk, take it to your coach - of course I do coaching in this space, so you can bring your list to me! Really do some focused inner-work around it. There might be something on that list that you definitely do not want to do. For example, tell everyone in your email contacts, from A - Z what you’re looking for. You still write it down, you still do the inner-work on it because that will free up other creative ideas to come to you around how you could attract your beautiful person!
3. Once you’ve done this step it’s time to feel into the top three that you want to try right now. Make sure that this top three is both feels doable but also stretches you a fair bit. As Neale Donald Walsch said: “Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.” So if being on dating apps it something you’ve already done and you’re quite comfortable with it, doing more of that is not going to feel like a stretch. But perhaps writing your dating profile from a more aligned and intuitive place and putting in that out into the world with more authenticity perhaps is a good stretch for you. Do the top three actions on your list, journal about how it goes, any thoughts or pop-up feelings.
Let me know how it goes! I would love to hear all about it you can let me know in the comments how it went for you. If you are feeling really stuck with that with that given up feeling feel free to email me on shannon@welcomelastinglove.com so I can send you some resources that might help.
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