The 7 Self-Love Stepping Stones
I once believed I was unworthy of positive, supportive and happy love, so I chose destructive, sad, volatile love. I remember waking up, in the middle of nowhere stuck in one such relationship with nowhere to run and no way to even realise I was worthy. When I finally did leave, it was after a lot of inner work. And I mean a lot. It helped me return to a knowing that I could choose my reality and I chose to know I was worthy of the love I was seeking. This inner work helped me back to that sense of self-love.
People talk about self-love being an essential part to delve into before you meet your lasting love. But how can we take self-love as a concept away from something that people often say in a kind of throwaway way to an actionable, important practice that will play a massive part in getting us from where we are, to where we want to be?
Let’s explore the How in today’s blog, as I share the 7 self-love stepping stones to traverse as you cross the waters back to love. Let’s cover the stepping stones in more detail so that we can step forward with confidence and to the kind of relationship we so want to have.
Stepping stone #1 - Self-care
Obviously one aspect of self-love is self-care. General care like a good food, exercise and sleep – it also extends beyond that. For example having a vibrant social life, choosing to be nurtured regularly with perhaps a massage, giving yourself a massage, spending time in nature and so on. What kind of self-care fills your antique-look pink cup?
Stepping stone #2 - Unconditional Sel-Love
What does the expression ‘unconditional love, mean to you? To me it means being forgiving, and loving, no matter what. I think it’s something most of us feel we’d like to strive for, but how possible is it? Is a profound level of unconditional love possible with ourselves, partners, friends and beyond?
Unconditional Love needs to start with ourselves. We need to unconditionally love ourselves first, because us humans thrive on love! When we all personally thrive, we make the world a better place, too! We are all doing our best with the skills we have available to us, so giving ourselves a break and always coming back to love is essential.
It’s well known that we need to step away from negative self-talk. Sometimes it can be so much in the background that we don’t even know that we are doing it. It could be an opinion about yourself, or feelings of shame, or simply that you want to be further along than you already are in life. When we consciously step into unconditional love for ourselves, we choose to forgive ourselves for the times when we were acting in ways we knew were not skilful, or hurtful or both.
This can be very hard, so in order to do this, I most definitely recommend inner work as a regular practice. That might mean with a practitioner, a therapist or psychologist or even taking your inner work into your meditations or into walks in nature.
Stepping stone #3 - Inner work as a regular practice
Mental, emotional and even spiritual maintenance is essential in the world we currently find ourselves in. When I book in my counselling, circle work, EFT Tapping, exercise, meditation I know I feel it, I am more loving to myself as I deeply feel that I did my very best. I know for certain that if a friend had been through what I have been through I’d be so compassionate, so loving – so why not extend this love to myself?
The profound effect of all of us, single or otherwise can have on humanity by paying attention to our inner game is beyond what we can imagine. So let’s get this self-love party started by going within with support of others, nature magical quantum modalities like EFT tapping!
Stepping stone #4 - Self-knowledge
I’ve been meaning to do some personality test again for ages. There are some really famous ones like Myers Briggs, also everyone’s talking about Human Design recently. I’ve done some of these before – it but it’s really time for me to rejig and tune into what speaks to me about myself.
The more that we know ourselves, the more we can know what we want then we can choose to move towards what makes us happy. This is such an important aspect of self-love!
The better you know yourself, the better your relationship with the rest of the world.
Stepping stone #5 – Lean into love in every situation possible
Leaning into love is something I have been practicing my whole life. I moved around a lot as a child, going to many schools along the way. Because of this, I realised that it was really important to be friendly and open-minded. People can feel that genuine connection so I always had friends wherever I went. At a bus stop several years ago I ended up chatting to a woman my age, and she’s still my friend to this day! This skill means I know many people as I make my way around the coast. I’m so grateful for those experiences I had as a child, because they gave me a true understanding of the power of being optimistic, friendly and positive, which are some of the traits I support my clients to nurture.
By consciously sending love to all we meet we can move through our lives leaning into love more and more.
Why is this related to self-love? Because us humans learn through the mirror of relationship. The forgiveness and love I send to the person who cut me off in a car is the same love I extend to me when I could have acted with more awareness. So this practice of leaning into love wherever possible deepens my capacity to celebrate my own awesomeness, too!
Stepping stone #6 – Intentional loving through firm boundaries
How can being clear with our boundaries with people help us establish self-love as a foundation for living? And why would we want to do that?
For example, I have love for my ex, but I do not ever want him in my life again. I love him, as a human doing his best, but his behaviour makes it so that I do not want him around. Some people’s behaviour makes it easy and fun for us to have them in our space, however some, do not.
When we choose to love anyway, and also express the boundaries necessary to make life easy and fun, I call this intentional loving. This helps us in all interactions with people be that with your partner, friends, clients and so on!
Stepping stone #7 – Conscious, aligned Action
Your one loving action today?
In today’s blog we have been on a journey of self-love. Coming from love as much as possible - especially for ourselves and also for others can transform your relationships, career and many other aspects of life. This is simply because humans thrive when they are seen in a positive light and so things will flow more easily! Even finding love will flow more easily.
What one action do you want to implement today to help you increase your capacity for self- love? Conscious, aligned action will move the needle forward but you gotta get it into your schedule! (With as much importance placed on it as work, a lunch with a friend, going to the doctor and so on, you get my drift).
Will it be something around forgiving and loving yourself, your loved ones or even people in the street? I encourage you to decide what action you will try - make a choice to actually do it, go out there and enjoy leaning into more self-love!
It’s my mission to help people step more into their authentic selves and be vibrant and radiant – and part of this is choosing to attract the life and love they want! If you are single and want to attract your life partner, come and join me in on my mailing list. Go to this page, and enter your details where it says Let’s connect Via Email! https://www.welcomelastinglove.com/contact-me
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