7 steps to attracting your life partner
Do you want to attract your life partner? It’s not always an easy or straightforward road, but the steps are simple. As we welcome the new year, you can choose to see something you have never seen, feel something you have never felt – especially in your love life! These steps can be used anytime you want renewed energy and inspiration to take the actions that will help you attract what you truly want.
A connected, intimate and warm love story that is an inspiration to others, creating more joy in the world is totally possible for you!
Step One: Presence.
Presence is about being fully here in this moment, with yourself, with another, with the word around you. Start in delighting in the everyday, the mundane. How a friend smiles, the slow beauty of a raindrop, the joy of dogs on the beach! Bring this presence into every human interaction - smile at a person passing you, the check-out operator, and loved ones. Heart-centred listening is the key. The check-out guy told me the other day that he finds it hard to write the new year each time he has to write the date in January – we had a moment. Even such mundane stuff is actual connection! Consciously practicing this kind of love - discipline awakens our senses, and our presence.
Our physical centre, known as the Hara in Japanese can bring us into more presence. It resides between the naval and the pubic bone. If we practice walking from this place, with slightly bent knees, not leaning forward nor toppling over backwards we can come into greater presence. This also helps us develop our Ki, or ‘Universal Life Force Energy’ as we would call it in English! Strong Ki equals strong presence. Someone with great presence is someone others find attractive. Most people don’t use this term ‘Ki’ at all, but we feel it’s power - and it’s magnetic. I knew a woman once who chose to take extraordinary action on building her Ki in a very short period of time through deep inner work. The result was that she turned heads wherever she went – such a goddess was a delight to behold!
Step Two: Celebrate the good
Can you acknowledge and celebrate that you are a wonderful person, and so are others? We are all on this path together - perfect, flawed, beautiful, ugly, caring, angry, sad, joyful - and in that mish-mash there is a place for being fully with that whole picture. How can we claim this divinity now? Anything in the past is just that - past. Wonderful humans are attracted to those who have taken responsibility for their own lives. We can acknowledge past issues, make amends if need be, and move forward with love. Once we have done this we can more easily celebrate our own goodness, and experience more love within ourselves and the world around us. This is part of the self-love piece that gets so much attention. Loving ourselves makes us less likely to fall into the trap of seeking approval from our partner and thereby not expressing our authentic selves. As Byron Katie once said “It’s not your job to like me…it’s mine!”.
Step Three: Clarity
Get completely clear on the kind of partner you are looking for, what kind of relationship you would like to have and how you want to be in relationship. What do you love to do? Will your partner share in these things with you, or is that an area of your life you don’t necessarily need to share with your partner because you like to practise it alone, or with friends? For example, I love training in the Japanese martial art of Aikido (well, I use to, time to get back to that maybe even this week!), but my hubby who is, ironically, from Japan is not into Aikido at all. Pretty funny when people often treat him like he must know loads about martial arts just cause he’s from Japan… anyway, I digress…
Are marriage and/or children on your radar…or not? How do you want to feel with your partner and what values do you have that you want to share? When we write, or say out loud, what we want to attract, and then relax in the knowing that who we need will show up, things start to shift and move us in that direction. The person you attract may be the same as the vision you dreamt up….or the truth of who they are may provide even more love, connection and expansion than you ever dreamt possible!
Step Four: Strategy
How are you going to find your love? List all of the places the kind of person you want to meet spends time. Do you love tennis or yoga? Maybe this person is already a member of the local tennis club or yoga studio. Put ‘join the tennis club’, or ‘start yoga’ on your plan or similar depending on your interests. Do you do online dating? Perhaps you are willing to try it out, or try again. It can be so disheartening for people however there are some ways to engage online that are more resonant with who you are as a person. How many new people can you meet each week? These connections can lead to meeting someone special - so many couples meet through friends or online.
Step Five: Skill level
Have you got the skills that would aid you in meeting new people, dating someone and then moving into a successful relationship? What does this mean when it comes to dating? Perhaps talking to new people is not your strong point. Be creative with conversation starters with friends and family consciously for two weeks and see what interesting and new directions it takes you. What other skills will help you in this area? Communication training can help, as can skills like EFT tapping to calm feelings and thoughts before social situations and in relationships. (You can go here to learn the basics https://www.thetappingsolution.com/tapping-101/)
Step Six: Environment
Take a look at your physical environment, and clear the path for new adventures, people and experiences to present themselves. Do this by clearing away irrelevant actions in your calendar, as well as any clutter, or mess that no longer serves you! (Hhhmm hoping my husband does not read this. Anyhow I am working on the clutter, it’s a work in progress! Lol)
Is your home an inviting and comfortable place to invite a new friend? Our environment can mean physical, emotional, mental, spiritual. Think maintenance. What physical movement do you love and are you currently doing it? Even your online space – are your social media feeds a great tool for communication that sometimes make you less social in the outside world? Will this have a negative impact on your connections in the future? Work on making your internet use balanced - use the tool don’t let it use you. As you move your body and optimise your environment the shift of energy makes the world of difference!
Step Seven: Mindset
Become a master of your own mental landscape. There are so many things about our beliefs and mental landscape that can make or break our ability to design our lives, and love lives, how we want them to be. Find a coach to help you navigate through the fears and beliefs that get in the way of you going for it with your whole, divine self!! Mastering your mindset is probably the most powerful thing we can do, especially in the search for love.
Contact me for your free 30-minute session to chat about your situation and alter a mindset block that is in your way. Here’s to you finding the love of your life, and embracing all of that beautiful growth and joy on the journey there!