Clear it out!
As the end of the year draws near, we often reflect on the year that’s been – all of our celebrations, successes, frustrations, disappointments and the rest. I wonder as you’ve been through this process if you have noticed any habits or thoughts that are no longer serving you? Especially those stop you moving toward love…
In Japan, New Year is a time for fresh energies to be bought in – and the way they do this is by clearing out the old. They declutter, tidy and clean the old stuff out of the way. We can use the energy of the New Year to leave thoughts and even energetic frequencies that hold us back and put the brakes on when it comes to us having what we want in love.
I want 2025 to be about nurturing myself, my family, my garden, my clients and the frequency of Love on the Planet!! If you want next year to be one of welcoming what you truly want in your love life, let me hand you three ways to clear what’s no longer serving you.
I have noticed in my own mind the thought that love is hard work. This is an example of a limiting belief that is no longer serving me because sometimes love can be hard work – but what if it can be totally easy most of the time? Also, when you find someone who really lights you up and you have a great time, and an amazing love connection, then the bits that can be hard work are definitely worth it.
Are there any beliefs that you found that are not supporting you?
I meet a lot of people that say every one of the opposite sex is difficult because of ABC! We know this kind of sweeping generalisation is not true deep down inside - but often our past hurts have us think in that way. This is a pretty tricky belief to hold if you want to attract someone special!
What else could be in your way? And, how can we clear that mess out so we can feel amazing when it comes to love?
I most definitely recommend working with a practitioner – someone has been doing this for years and knows exactly how to help you identify and clear the blocks that could be stopping you. It’s amazing what a few focused coaching sessions can do when it comes to confidence and proactivity levels towards creating the life we want.
While you look into what practitioner you resonate with, or when you are doing some solo inner journeying time, try these 3 ways to clear what’s no longer needed out -
1. Write it out.
Journaling is an oldie but a goodie. All we need is a pen and piece of paper - write down how you feel and think about things. Be intentional about it though. When it comes to attracting love, journaling is great once you’ve got your vision in place. (Please see this blog for how to do that https://www.welcomelastinglove.com/blog/the-magic-of-a-good-vision) then journal on how that vision makes you feel. Reflect on the wonderousness that next level love in your life will bring. Tune into just how awesome that will be. Also, journal on any fears or doubts that come up for you.
For those looking for love, many people find it very challenging to put themselves out there again after being hurt. This is completely understandable! You can write down disappointments about the past, or a specific person, you can also write down what you think might happen if you open up again. With journaling, make it regular and sacred. Put it in your schedule to do a little bit every day or a couple times a week.
Some people find it very helpful to do what’s called stream of consciousness writing. It simply means writing without letting your inner editor get in the way. If you find yourself worried about commas, adjectives and how to express yourself adequately just imagine making your own inner critic a cup of tea in the other room and then, in your mind, sit them there. You can welcome them back later if you do want to polish it and make it flow the way you want it to. However, your journal in general doesn’t need to flow - it doesn’t need to be spelt correctly or even have commas, if that is how you want to do it. (Funny advice coming from an ex English teacher!! )
You do not edit as you write – stream of consciousness is simply that, a stream. It’s whatever comes to mind. You might write ‘I’m scared of being vulnerable because of ABC – it really doesn’t matter what you write, as it’s the effect of the cathartic expressive writing that is the gold.
Here are some journal prompts to get you started. How do I feel about meeting new people? How do I feel about love? How can my experience of love and intimacy be supportive, fulfilling and joyous? How can I bring my very best self to the table in a relationship? What is there to release that’s holding me back from love? What are three easy jobs I can give myself to do at this social event? (For example talk to 3 new people, introduce one person to another person for example help out in the kitchen and so on.)
2. The Seven Letters.
The 2nd way to clear it out that I recommend is also connected to writing. This is called the seven letters process. It’s great to do with a particular person, for example if you have had experiences in love in the past that were very sad or disappointing. You start by writing a letter to that person and really let it rip (go to town, express EVERYTHING) in the letter (you DON’T send it).
You can swear, you can say horrible things, you can carry on like a pork chop ( Australian expression here, it means whining). You can make it as angry, as mean and as rude as you like. When you finish writing the letter, put it in the outside rubbish bin, or even get extra brownie points for burning it! Then, you take a cold shower afterward because the cold water helps wash away the energy that’s been stirred up from writing the letter.
And yes, as you guessed it as it’s a seven letter process – you write six more letters. Simply keep going, keep letting it rip and then the last letter you could actually choose to send if you wanted do. I don’t recommend sending it at all, however, you do need to make that last letter considered enough to be able to be sent. This is how you can see that you have transmuted & transformed the energy that was holding you back.
2. Clearing with Movement and Nature Time.
I often recommend takin inner work into an exercise routine and/or into nature.
What does this even look like? It is taking a question, or a limiting belief with you to energetically, mentally and emotionally work with. For example, take the question ‘how can I mingling out and about more mindfully?’ into your morning jog. As you jog along you let your mind ponder the question. If ‘do yoga before I go out’ comes to mind, and then ‘stuff that, who wants to do yoga at five of the evening?’ You are processing as you move your body. The point is not to find an answer in particular but to let your brain riff and flow on the questions or beliefs that you are intentionally taking with you on your jog.
Naturally, I’m not advocating that you do all of your inner work on your own. Far from it - in fact I think getting a practitioner that you resonate with is essential. However, I am aware that there are times in life when we do want to save our time and reserve our energy and at those times, these 3 ways to clear out can be very helpful.
If it’s an ex you want to clear out in particular, download your free ‘Release your Ex’ video from my the bottom of the homepage of my website and follow the steps xx
https://www.welcomelastinglove.com/
In the comments below, tell me what is one thing you will implement after reading this post. Make sure you subscribe to my newsletter for more tips, info about singles events, coaching info and so on. (You can do that on the ‘Let’s Connect’ page on my website linked above).