Where are all the single men?
Where are all the single men?
This is a question I get asked often as an attract love coach. Are they around? Lovely, attractive, single and interested in partnership men to meet? Someone with aware good communication skills, self-awareness and reaching for their very best life.
Online dating sites and apps for those wanting to attract love are all over the place. Although, there is another way, which is about getting out to new and interesting places, and widening your circle of friends. Friends that truly resonate with who you are, your values and lifestyle.
I recommend both online dating and meeting people out and about as the men are doing both as well – of course doing both safely is paramount. (Check out another blog coming soon which covers physical, emotional and energetic safety). Today let’s explore where wonderful single men are spending time and touch on some empowering beliefs and energetics around attracting your love.
A list and an exploration…
I was delighted to find that in his article on ‘Thought Catalogue’, Zaron Burnett lists 10 places to find single men. https://thoughtcatalog.com/zaron-burnett-iii/2013/06/where-are-all-the-single-men-a-guys-answer/
Although these places are not for everyone, he states that at live shows, gyms, car and motorcycle shows, professional sporting events, beaches, hotel bars, airport lounges, golf courses, charity events and local events, plenty of single men are to be found. At car and motorcycle shows, the ratio of men to women is heavily on the side of more men! It’s raining men if you can stand a car show lol!
This list is a good one, and some places will resonate more than others for you to try. Spend a sacred moment tuning into the kinds of people you like, think about where they would hang and spend time there. My ‘people’ would hang out at some of the above, as well as at yoga, music festivals, national parks, retreats and so on.
What kind of man?
Considering what groups of men there are around is also helpful. Here in the Sunshine Coast, and in many areas of Australia, many men live a FiFo lifestyle. While they’re in town they’ll be at some of these places, seeing friends and family and engaging in sport like surfing, golfing and so on. Many men crave solitude which could be one of the reasons men are usually thin on the ground at singles events. However - I have met plenty of wonderful men who want to welcome a life partner.
Your big Yes…
It’s just a matter of saying a big Yes to the Universe, and doing the mindset and action pieces to help it happen. Working on mindset and taking action shows commitment. Flow, the Universe – whatever you want to call the great Love energy, loves commitment, and will send you more of what you want. (Even though this is a subject to unpack another day, these energetics are important to mention).
For single mums and women that are open to someone with children -
Another group of single men - single dads, are busy being the providers and sole care givers so they don’t have much time or energy to meet women. Supermarkets, parks and simply through friends is a way to meet them. This is especially relevant for single mums who feel that men with children will have experienced the ins and outs of parenting so there will be more of a shared understanding. Consciously come to the party with plenty of patience and flexibility – qualities we all know are needed in abundance when parenting!
A smart cookie?
What about ratios of numbers of men and women, and what of who is attracted to who? In the book titled ‘Date-onomics’, Jon Birger states, “Between the ages of 30 and 39 — there is a ratio of 5:4 college educated women to men…". The presumption is that women who are have graduated from University want to partner with men who have done the same.
Mr Birger suggests that this bias is not helpful for people’s success in marriage. I agree with this wholeheartedly! It is outdated and unhelpful to believe only someone with a certain level of education will be a good mate – even though my husband simply finished high school, his life education and who he is as a person makes him one of the most intelligent, lovely and responsible people I know!
A powerful question…
It’s also a matter of consciousness and perception. Rather than ‘Where are all the single men’, as one astute friend pointed out that a more powerful question is, “How do I meet interesting, wonderful single men?” Something that can help with answering this question is to look into the beliefs that shape our reality.
Belief flipping….
Note if you feel any of these are true. “All the good men are taken”, “There aren’t any single men out there”, or “My town is too small to meet single men”, or, “Men my age have too much baggage”. These beliefs come from a scarcity, rather than an abundant, mindset and are not helping produce the results you want. I honour that these may have been your experience up till now and you may be feeling frustrated because you have a need for plentiful possibilities in this area.
I recommend choosing beliefs that are super empowering - for example, “There are plenty of wonderful men out there for me to meet”.
This may seem like trite advice and in actual fact my experience from running singles events here on the coast did show that more women than men come to these things. However, when our inner game shifts, everything shifts. I know a woman who lived in the middle of nowhere with a baby and most of the rest of the village were over the age of 60 – randomly, a lovely young man moved to town and the next thing was, they were in love! It does happen.
Changing beliefs on our own is possible and….it’s much easier with a loving coach, therapist, healer or facilitator. If you have any friends struggling with changing limiting beliefs, or having an effective strategy towards finding a life partner they can contact me for a free 30 minute block clearing session so they can see what I do and I can support them to transform a block right there in the session (in person or online). Book here: https://loveattractioncoachingwithshannon.as.me/schedule.
How has it been?
What has been your experience with getting out and about to meet more people? Do you find that you meet people in the groups you join or in social situations? Or, has online been more effective? I’d love to know how you are going in this area. Your story could benefit someone else reading this… I met a good friend by being chatty at a bus stop once! What’s the most interesting way you have ever met someone? Tell me in the comments below or send me a massage, I love hearing from you!